Why do I even bother trying anymore?
You know what.
Fuck it. I'm done. No more dealing with this. It's time to upgrade.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Ever Closer
Today marks a milestone where I reach ever closer to the brink of insanity.
It has reached the point where I don't have a clue where I'm going to end up next. As if a roller coaster ride suddenly sprouted legs and became a spider causing chaos in the world. Maybe we all just need more spiders in our lives. Roller coaster spiders.
What I should remember though, is that the only person who could let me lose my mind is myself. For all the things that happen to me, it will effect me only as much as I allow it. I could open up and let it take over my mind and my life, but I like to think I have more integrity than that.
The problem is everyone is just so crazy. In the midst of this insanity I feel like the only one who makes any sense anymore. The only one who can still think and reason in a rational way. One of the few who don't resort to emotional manipulation to get what they want. This unwillingness to reason has led me to several phases of misery with the manipulators. Over time, I have learned that by putting up an emotional firewall, The manipulators lose all of their power. They no longer have a hold on your life. You are no longer their puppet or their fiddle to play. Anyone who cannot reason in a logical way is simply not worth the time and effort. These people will only cause grief, guilt, self-consciousness, low self-esteem, and above all, a massive waste of your time, which is the most valuable thing in the universe.
It has reached the point where I don't have a clue where I'm going to end up next. As if a roller coaster ride suddenly sprouted legs and became a spider causing chaos in the world. Maybe we all just need more spiders in our lives. Roller coaster spiders.
What I should remember though, is that the only person who could let me lose my mind is myself. For all the things that happen to me, it will effect me only as much as I allow it. I could open up and let it take over my mind and my life, but I like to think I have more integrity than that.
The problem is everyone is just so crazy. In the midst of this insanity I feel like the only one who makes any sense anymore. The only one who can still think and reason in a rational way. One of the few who don't resort to emotional manipulation to get what they want. This unwillingness to reason has led me to several phases of misery with the manipulators. Over time, I have learned that by putting up an emotional firewall, The manipulators lose all of their power. They no longer have a hold on your life. You are no longer their puppet or their fiddle to play. Anyone who cannot reason in a logical way is simply not worth the time and effort. These people will only cause grief, guilt, self-consciousness, low self-esteem, and above all, a massive waste of your time, which is the most valuable thing in the universe.
Monday, August 16, 2010
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